So, the question I asked myself this morning was, “When is going out in the cold just because you said you would exercise and be more healthy and get off your butt and inspire lots of people, … crazy?”
I woke up this morning with every intention in my heart to go outside and run and live long and prosper. I got all geared up: pants, Under Armour, fleece jacket, gloves, ear-covering headband, hat, Ipod, watch, socks and shoes.
And then I walked outside to this:
And I thought, “Am I crazy?”
I watched — as much as I could between wiping away the big flakes of snow that were pelting me in my eyes — as a man struggled to gain control of his car and a college student ran with her face tucked so far into her jacket, all I could see were two eyes and a rainbow scarf coming at me.
Surely, the inhibition to run at this moment would not strike many people as a thought based on normalcy.
So, I decided to turn right back around, go back inside, get nice and warm, and eat a toasted bagel with apricot cream cheese.
Instead, I chose to hightail it to the gym which is about a five-minute walk from my apartment. Today, it was about a 4:30-paced walk because I was hustling to get out of the cold. At that very moment, I was so happy that I still had a week left of my recently canceled gym membership.
“Why did you cancel?” you ask. Well, that is the same thing the guy at the front desk asked me when I decided I no longer wanted my membership.
“Does it work for you if I just tell you it’s because I am poor?” I said to him.
He uncomfortably laughed.
I dead-on stared at him and said, “I’m serious.”
I think he felt sorry for me.
But I digress. The point is, I did go to the gym. I got on the treadmill, turned up my I-pod and ran for 35 minutes.
Lets get one thing straight: I hate the treadmill. But once I was done, I was so glad I had pushed myself to workout. I was all skippy, hoppy on my way back to my apartment. Until I slid on a patch of ice. I looked really dumb, and actually saw a guy who was driving past smirk at me. I brought my skip down to a slow walk.
However, as I walked (now, very carefully), I was listening to a song called, “Many the Miles” by Sara Bareilles.
“There’s too many things I haven’t done yet
There’s too many sunsets I haven’t seen
You can’t waste the day wishing it’d slow down
You would’ve thought by now,
I’d have learned something.
I made up my mind when I was a young girl
I’ve been given this one world
I won’t worry it away
But now and again I lose sight of the good life
I get stuck in a low light
But then love comes in… “
I love that. When I was a young girl, I did tell myself EVERY DAY that nothing — I mean nothing — would get in the way of me getting where I needed to be. I believed in it with my whole heart and soul.
And then, I did. I did exactly that.
I lost sight of the “good life.”
All the people who love me, and writing, and running, and the snow that lay before me on this very day.
I lost sight of it.
But I am so lucky that “Love” or, in my case, the real me stepped in.
Because here I am now — seeing the good life once again.
And, today, that goodness was a bagel with apricot cream cheese the second I walked in the door.
It was so good …