Picking up from where I left off late last night ….

Last night I had the opportunity to finally watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, a movie featuring several big actors, like Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Elijah Wood Kirsten Dunst and Mark Ruffalo. It’s a movie I have been wanting to see for quite some time now and, since Dan and I are trying out a free Netflix subscription, we figured, “Hey, why not?”

First of all, let me say that if you are a person who prefers to understand a movie right off the bat, then forget trying to watch this film. It’s confusing and eccentric to say the least, and it’s mildly Tarantino-style of shooting might drive you crazy. But if you are a movie watcher who can resist the urge to consistently say, “What the eff?!” for the entire first hour, then go for it. You will be pleased.

Without giving away the ultimate outcome of the film, let me explain the very, very basic premise: When Joel (Carrey) meets Clementine (Winslet), the two are an instant pair, falling madly (deeply, truly) in love with one another. Things are blissful until things get ugly (yep, the honeymoon is over) and Clementine chooses to erase Joel from her life — literally. The story follows the couple’s journey to forget one another only to discover they were truly meant to be.

When the movie was over, Dan and I looked at each other at the same time. Before I could get out “Would you remember me even if you erased me from your memory?” he said “Would you ever want to erase me from your memory?” Tells you a bit about us.

We giggled. And then, we both became thoughtful. Is true love — that eternal concept of love at first sight — really just two souls’ recognition of a counterpart in one another?

This concept is a wicked, but deep one. I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in the power of the universe and its knowledge of something much greater than any one of us. I don’t believe we can erase (literally, not figuratively) someone from our lives, but I do believe that great bonds are simply a deeper knowing of a previous history.

I said to Dan, “Maybe I love you so much because I have already known you prior to this life. Maybe you annoyed me so much that I erased you and everyone else knows, except for you and me.”

He laughed and said, “Yes, and, perhaps, when we found each other again, they all said ‘Screw it. Just let them be.’” We giggled again.

The feeling after this movie was one that was reminiscent of the weirded-out vibes you get after watching a movie like “The Matrix” or reading a book like George Orwell’s 1984. What if we are all just one big, computerized, numerical universe? What if we are all being controlled by Big Brother and we don’t know it?

What if I knew you before and these familiar feelings are simply things I have already felt before?

Cue the spooky, Twighlight Zone music.

Send all of your love to this beautiful baby who joined so many of our lost pets in Pet Heaven last night. He was so loved by his family (my aunt, uncle and their wonderful kids) and he will be missed. Enjoy this photo of him at his favorite place — The 1000 Islands. We will miss you, Alex.

If we are hundreds of miles apart,

can you still feel me squeeze your hand

three times?

I. Love. You.

And if we are not sitting

face to face,

will you still know

that I cry when I miss you?

My heart hurts.

Can you hear me laughing,

when I watch our favorite show?

I wish you were beside me.

Will I still be the first person

you call,

even though the phone line stretches

much farther now?

I want to hear

your voice.

©CMS September 2008

My brother, Luke, sent his writer sister (that’s me) an essay to look over this evening. The essay was titled “Laugh, Play, Family” and in it he wrote:

“Finally, I cannot live without my family; they are the most important people to me in the world. My sister, Caroline, is one of my best friends in the world and without her to keep me in line I do not know where I would be today.”

He continued on to speak of my sister, youngest brother, mom and dad.

How did he get to be so cool and wise at 15 years old? Hell, I would love to think I played a part in it.

Hey, Luke, without you, honey, I would not be even a smidgen of the person I am today. Thank you for teaching me something new every moment since the day you were born.

“Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, ‘I am with you kid. Let’s go!’” — Maya Angelou

It’s been a week with the animal kingdom, and in the spirit of such an event I thought I would share this video with you. I was totally bawling watching this lion with his two human friends. It made me run and kiss my own two kitties. Enjoy:

I apologize for the mild hiatus, but vacation means unplugging and, hence, I have been trying to avoid the virtual world as much as possible. Of course, I do, however, love writing, so that can only last so long. (:

So, how about a brief run-through of the last few days?

Lunch on Monday was a bowl of homemade pasta salad made by my sister, Amanda. She used a mix of whole wheat and regular pasta, — a good way to trick the kids into eating the wheat kind! — and topped it with light Italian dressing, seasonings, cheese crumbles, chopped cucumbers and black olives. I had a bunch of grapes on the side.

Dinner was tuna with light mayo, cranberries, and a few mixed in sliced almonds and pine nuts, on hearty Italian bread with melted pepper jack cheese. I had a few Cool Ranch Doritos on the side. After dinner, the boys built a fire and we had s’mores.

I made mine with 2 squares of Hershey’s Special Dark chocolate each. I had four — definitely way too many! But they were so, so, so yummy and I figured, “Heck, it’s vacation!” The photo just doesn’t do them justice.

Tuesday started off with more time in the car. Dan and I went to see Jack Johnson in concert, a gift from him for my birthday. The one “problem,” however, was that the concert was scheduled during the same time we were planning to go on vacation. So, what was supposed to only be a short drive to Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio (about three hours from home) turned into a seven-hour drive from upstate New York.

But we were on vacation, so what did we care? We hopped into the car and made it a day, and arrived at the Blossom Music Center around 5 p.m. The concert was preceded by plenty of green-thinking vendor booths that you could visit and learn about various Earth issues, such as recycling, political point of views and worldwide corporations’ standpoints on green efforts.

It was so cool, and this is one of the fabulous things — besides his music — we love about Jack Johnson. All of his musical endeavors are backed by his need to make everything as earth-friendly as possible. The concert T shirts are made from organic cotton, you are asked to bring reusable water bottles to the show, his CD was made from solar energy, and the list goes on and on. If you are interested in learning more about his Earth efforts, check out Jack’s All at Once community, a new social action network where you can discuss issues and events, explore non-profit groups, and learn how to make positive changes in your local and world community.

A nice bonus was that at each booth you could earn a stamp on a ticket that was entered into a drawing where you could win a spot on the stage while Jack performed. I would of visited the booths anyway, but I thought that was a great way to get people to stop by and learn about important issues. We didn’t win — and I was so sure we would!

Jack was great — more than great . . . he totally rocked! We had such a good time. He played almost all of our favorite songs — he forgot “Better Together”! — and the concert just reaffirmed our love for Jack! (:

The only downer: We decided to be superheros and drive the whole way back to vacation — at 11 p.m.!! Looking back, the smarter decision was to just get a hotel room and rest. But my parents’ 25th anniversary was the next day and we wanted to get back to celebrate. It is all still one big haze, but I know there were two sugar-free Red Bulls and a few Starbucks’ Double Shots involved, and, of course, lots of Twizzlers. After hitting some construction traffic, we arrived at the cottage at 7:30 a.m., dazed, confused, sleepless and ready for some of the home fries my mom was cooking.

A quick view of food on the road and the following morning:

*Before we left I had a bowl of Barbara’s Bakery Shredded Oats with about 1 cup 1% milk. I also had a cup of coffee — duh!

*Lunch was a nice sandwich Dan had packed me the night before. It was the same sandwich I had for dinner the previous night, except this time it was on two slices of whole grain bread. I also shared some pasta salad with Dan and had a Synergy to accompany it all. Look how cute this cooler is! And I even got a message on my banana (PG is Dan’s nickname for me) which I decided to save for later. I have the best fiancé, right?

*I followed up lunch with a handful of peanut M&M’s from a bag I was sharing with Dan. It must be a car thing, huh? Later, I had a few Twizzlers from the bag I was saving for the car ride home — oops!

*At the concert, Dan and I shared some very pricey chicken fingers and fries. I knew I would regret it — not just because of the $8.00 price!!!! — because fried food always makes me nauseous. But I was hungry and, at the time, chicken sounded good. Note to self: This type of chicken never really tastes good, especially, for eight bucks! We had two fingers each and split the handful of fries that came with it. That “meal” was topped of with a $5.00 bottle of water. We should have listened to Jack and brought along our Sigg water bottles! He sets up water jugs, like the kind you see in offices, and you can refill as many times as you want. Good thing to keep in mind for next time. But, ultimately, no complaints because Jack was well worth the $13 refreshment and snack.

*The car ride home started off well — I had my banana and some 2% Fage Strawberry Greek-Style yogurt. But as the night/morning continued, my eating habits went a bit downhill. Like I already said, I had a sugar-free Red Bull, Starbucks’ Double-Shot espresso drink, Twizzlers, and some cheddar cereal, pretzel and cracker mix — kind of like a Chex Mix type-o-thing.

*When we arrived at the cottage, I had a plate of home fries, scrambled eggs, 2 mini pancakes and a piece of whole grain toast.

I would have liked to have passed out right then, but I had a little work to do, so I got busy. Around lunch time, I watched The Bucket List with my family and munched on Trader Joe’s cinnamon grahams – I love these homemade-style graham crackers! I wasn’t in the mood for lunch after a big breakfast, so the graham crackers were a good keep-me-awake snack. The movie was great, and a must see; it is based on the theme of the book, The Bucket List: Things to Do Before I Kick It by Justin Zackham.

My parents went out for dinner for their anniversary, so that meant the kids were on their own. We had some rigatoni pasta with sauce and salad. Our snack was anniversary brownies with my parents when they returned from dinner. My sister made them paper hats for them to wear while they ate — it was a pretty funny site to see! Congratulations, mom and dad, on 25 years of marriage — you guys rock.

In between dinner and brownies, my brother, Isaac caught a humongous turtle! He was out fishing, spotted this guy and actually managed to scoop him up with a net. He was not very happy, so we let him go ASAP — we didn’t to make this guy too mad! Isaac named him Bubba, and then we all said farewell to our river friend.

Breakfast this morning was Barbara’s Bakery cereal, again, with 1 % milk. I know, it’s like, get a new cereal, girl! But I love this stuff.

I was doing so many things during the day that I kind of forgot about lunch. Not a good thing at all — when my mom and I returned from our 4-mile walk, I was kind of thinking, “Hmmm…what is this feeling in my stomach? Ahh, lunch!” So, I had some hummus and Triscuits, along with small square of last night’s brownies. (; Dinner is almost ready, so I did not want to overdo it. Mahi mahi, salad, grilled veggies and brown rice are on the menu! Mmmm — I cannot wait!

Speaking of, I think I smell something yummy … I gotta go!

I love Adam Sandler, but his movies are not generally ones in which people discover “a deeper meaning” or “thought-provoking message,” right? I mean Billy Madison offered me a few good laughs, but nothing along the lines of spiritual teachings.

But when I first saw Sandler’s 50 First Dates, which also stars Drew Barrymore and Sean Astin, I recognized a very profound message that I enjoy watching unfold each time I watch the movie, as I did yesterday with Dan and my brothers.

For those of you who do not know the premise of the movie, Henry (Sandler) lives a paradise-esque life in Hawaii where each night he wines and dines an out-of-town woman — no strings attached. That is, until he comes across Lucy (Barrymore), a local resident who he meets at a coffee shop. But there’s one glitch: Lucy suffered a brain injury that each night erases from her memory everything that happened after the accident, including her new love, Henry.

The film keeps the typical Sandler laughs in place, but my favorite part is at the end — don’t worry, I won’t give it away — when you witness a moment where Lucy wakes up and recognizes the beauty of her life. It is, for me, a deeply moving scene where you realize the actual gift this woman possess; she wakes up every day and rediscovers the people and life she loves so dearly.

I get a little teary (OK, I completely bawl) every time I watch this part of the movie. Not because it is sad, but because it is so beautiful. Imagine what it would be like to wake up every day and be reintroduced to your family, husband or wife, children, job of your dreams . . . it would be magical, right? There is no greater appreciation.

But what if we could all take a bit of that message with us? I try to do just that each time I watch 50 First Dates because, while I may not have damaged my temporal lobe, I understand the importance of recognizing life for what it is. Don’t get me wrong — it is not always easy. But every day starts anew — as we have learned with this movie — and there is a grand opportunity to try again at applying the lessons you have learned.

Motivational speakers around the globe tell us to, “Live each day as though it’s your last” which is a beautiful message, indeed.

But what if we lived each day as though it were our first?

“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.”

- Coretta Scott King

So, yesterday was my birthday (yay!).

When everyone began to ask me what I was going to do on my special day, I received with the question many suggestions as to how I should plan the festivities.

“You should go out to eat.”

“You could meet friends for a few drinks.”

“You should go to the bars and get trashed — that’s what I always do.”

And while I know these words of wisdom were not ill-intentioned, none of them — not even the last all-too-fun-sounding pearl of advice (note sarcastic tone) — involved things that I wanted to do for the celebration of my 24th year of life.

All I really wanted to do was be with the people whom I love the most — my family. So, on Saturday night Dan and I packed up our things (our kitties, too!) and headed to my mom and dad’s house.

I woke up the next morning to bagels and fresh cream cheese from my favorite joints, compliments of my sister’s boyfriend, Anthony. I went for a long walk with my mom, and Dan and my sister made me sushi for lunch. I broke out my new juicer — the one and only present I really wanted — and made juice for everyone. A few of my most cherished extended family members stopped over, and I got to spend some time with all of them — my aunt, uncle, fabulous godchild and cousin, Chloe, and her sister, Ella, and brother, Jacob. They brought me cookies shaped like 2’s and 4’s (as you can see I pretty much polished those off!). And my mom made my favorite dinner which consists of ground turkey, potatoes, carrots, mushrooms, corn and onions. I know it’s quite an odd choice, but I love it. Finally, my family sang to me and we ate cake.

It was perfect. I would not change a darn thing.

And while I already knew how lucky I am, days like this reaffirm all of those very real, true beliefs.

I. AM. SO. LUCKY.

My family is not perfect, and we have our quirks and battles. But it is so perfect for me.

Mohandas Gandhi once said, “Where there is love there is life.”

I know for sure that my “life” exists and thrives because of the love by which I am surrounded. And I am a consistently growing person because of that “love.”

Thank you . . . to each one of you who have made my life for the past 24 years.

P.S. Stay posted for awesome juicing recipes . . . I love this thing!