Enough is Enough Already … Go Find the Good Life

So, the question I asked myself this morning was, “When is going out in the cold just because you said you would exercise and be more healthy and get off your butt and inspire lots of people, … crazy?”

I woke up this morning with every intention in my heart to go outside and run and live long and prosper. I got all geared up: pants, Under Armour, fleece jacket, gloves, ear-covering headband, hat, Ipod, watch, socks and shoes.

And then I walked outside to this:

pgsnow3.jpg

And I thought, “Am I crazy?”

I watched — as much as I could between wiping away the big flakes of snow that were pelting me in my eyes — as a man struggled to gain control of his car and a college student ran with her face tucked so far into her jacket, all I could see were two eyes and a rainbow scarf coming at me.

Surely, the inhibition to run at this moment would not strike many people as a thought based on normalcy.

So, I decided to turn right back around, go back inside, get nice and warm, and eat a toasted bagel with apricot cream cheese.

Kidding, kidding…

Instead, I chose to hightail it to the gym which is about a five-minute walk from my apartment. Today, it was about a 4:30-paced walk because I was hustling to get out of the cold. At that very moment, I was so happy that I still had a week left of my recently canceled gym membership.

“Why did you cancel?” you ask. Well, that is the same thing the guy at the front desk asked me when I decided I no longer wanted my membership.

“Does it work for you if I just tell you it’s because I am poor?” I said to him.

He uncomfortably laughed.

I dead-on stared at him and said, “I’m serious.”

I think he felt sorry for me.

But I digress. The point is, I did go to the gym. I got on the treadmill, turned up my I-pod and ran for 35 minutes.

Lets get one thing straight: I hate the treadmill. But once I was done, I was so glad I had pushed myself to workout. I was all skippy, hoppy on my way back to my apartment. Until I slid on a patch of ice. I looked really dumb, and actually saw a guy who was driving past smirk at me. I brought my skip down to a slow walk.

However, as I walked (now, very carefully), I was listening to a song called, “Many the Miles” by Sara Bareilles.

She says:

“There’s too many things I haven’t done yet

There’s too many sunsets I haven’t seen

You can’t waste the day wishing it’d slow down

You would’ve thought by now,

I’d have learned something.

I made up my mind when I was a young girl

I’ve been given this one world

I won’t worry it away

But now and again I lose sight of the good life

I get stuck in a low light

But then love comes in… ”

I love that. When I was a young girl, I did tell myself EVERY DAY that nothing — I mean nothing — would get in the way of me getting where I needed to be. I believed in it with my whole heart and soul.

And then, I did. I did exactly that.

I lost sight of the “good life.”

All the people who love me, and writing, and running, and the snow that lay before me on this very day.

I lost sight of it.

But I am so lucky that “Love” or, in my case, the real me stepped in.

Because here I am now — seeing the good life once again.

And, today, that goodness was a bagel with apricot cream cheese the second I walked in the door.

It was so good

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8 Comments

Filed under January 2008, Pray

8 responses to “Enough is Enough Already … Go Find the Good Life

  1. Lisa

    Well one good thing is that you did go to the gym instead of back into the house so I am proud of you for that. Also, I have to tell you, I love the pictures of yourself that go along with each story…you looked so cute in your fuzzy hat and gloves….

  2. Amber

    I give you so much credit for going to the gym and sticking it out on that treadmill! (I don’t think anyone really likes those things.) You’re doing great!!

  3. Dad

    I did not run outside or go to the gym, but I did run to my car to leave for work ! I am very proud of you (not because you ran and I didn’t) but because you had the courage to take that leap of faith to pursue your hapiness. I love you and keep blogging (probably not correct grammar) !!!
    xoxoxo

  4. Mommy

    Well, lovely miss Caroline…once again there are tears. You see, your dad and I are part of the reason that as such a young child you thought that way, and also part of the reason you lost those thoughts, feelings and determinations. But we also believe that, essentially — even if well taught — you must find these things for yourself or they end up being nothing more than someone else’s thoughts. And now, you have found them…the return is the MOST powerful thought, feeling and thing…now it’s you’re turn…show everyone what we already know you can do…I love you!!!

  5. Amanda

    Well… I am proud of you for going to the gym! It is so tempting to crawl back in bed on days like today. I too went out to run right as the snow storm began this morning and I actually did not go back in or go to the gym. Honorable, huh? Yes I was feeling that way too. I felt powerful while running down Baum Blvd. People were looking at me from their cars like I was crazy and I, of course, like that. So, I cooly kept running (with my new Nike+Ipod, let me add) and took a right turn by whole foods. I saw the light start to turn yellow where I wanted to cross, so I picked up the speed. Well, needless to say, I forgot that the roads become slippery when it is snowing and when I turned a bit to the right, I wiped out. Literally, wiped out in the middle of the intersection. Yes, I felt pretty cool then. The people staring at me definitely wanted to be a powerful runner just like me! 😉 So, of course I jumped back up and said to the worried people staring at me “I’m fine, I’m fine” and I ran off. And yes, I had trouble walking for the rest of the day. Needless to say, you really should not feel bad about your little slip and a smirk from some guy. This was an intersection! I am happy for you. Running really does that for you. It makes the whole day feel different. I am glad you rediscovered that feeling. Mom is right. That is really something you have to find for yourself. You can’t love running for anyone but you. YOU are the one who feels the pain, sweat, peace and victory. Only you can make you love it! Great song by the way. So true! I want a bagel with apricot cream cheese..yummy! And the run made it so much better…right? I love you

    xoxo
    Amanda

  6. Amanda

    P.S. Sorry I wrote a book 🙂

  7. Dan

    As you understand, there is pretty much nothing that can make me get out of bed in the morning to run. But you should know that while I am in bed, I am warm.

    But while I’m warm, I’m thinking about how perfect the timing is for you to rediscover everything.

    Every snowflake and patch of ice is the beautifully purposeful somehow inspiring challenge that confronts every artist – and human.

    Great work, I love you,
    Fiance

  8. “face tucked so far into her jacket, all I could see were two eyes and a rainbow scarf coming at me.”
    Maybe Amanda? And did you put underwear and a bra on that day?

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